This week I’m finally breaking away from the D Lists to bring you the very first V List. No, it isn’t a list of all your lame friends who still can’t get laid. It isn’t even a list of my lame friends who can’t get laid. It’s the Top 10 Movie Titles that Could Double as Names for Vaginas. Just like with the Dick Lists, I wanted to avoid the most obvious candidates: The Box, The Cave, The Eye, The Birdcage, Deep Impact, and yes, even Snatch.
10. IT’S COMPLICATED
Penises may be strange, but at least we know what everything does.
9. TORN CURTAIN
Second only to “bearded axe wound.”
I understand some girls don’t shave regularly, but come on! Really?
7. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Barren, dusty, and extremely bloody.
6. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
When you don’t, they leave you with a broken heart and bruised ribs.
5. THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Crown of thorns! Bam. Done. Moving on.
4. BLOOD DIAMOND
Djimon in! The water’s warm.
3. FOOLS RUSH IN
…and real men pull out.
2. THE HURT LOCKER
“Don’t cut anything. Just get the hell out of there. Run, dumb-ass! RUN!!!
1. THE WEDDING PLANNER
“Baby, are you pregnant?”
“Yes. Yes, I am.”
“Be a lot cooler if you weren’t.”
Honorable Mentions: Hidden Fortress, The Sandlot, The Bone Collector